Long time no blog!! A lot has happened, mostly with Ms. Woe Is Me. She is a hot mess. I really think someone needs to study her because she needs her own DMS-V diagnosis. It’s hard to keep track of everything, so I have been keeping a running list (maybe I need my own psych diagnosis too!). In an effort to summarize crazy, here it is:
· She was attacked by a pit bull mix as she was leaving her apartment to go jogging one Saturday morning. The dog tackled her as she came around the corner and bit through her heavy duty coat. It came inches from her carotid and nearly killed her. The police and animal control were called. She decided to not press charges because the dog belonged to a man that is currently serving in Iraq and his parents are watching it while he is away.
· She went on a cruise over Thanksgiving and was really sea sick (and also sick-sick). The boat engines broke down in the middle of the sea and the swells were over 4 meters with winds at 40knots. She had to just stay in her cabin because it was too hard to stand or move (did mention she was a marine biologist for 10+years?!). Because of the breakdown they also missed one of the stops and she wasn’t able to go on her pre-paid excursions. After she got back and removed her motion-sickness patch, she had vertigo for the next 4 days.
· The night she came back, she was at the same party her ex-boyfriend(?), the bed wetter. He was rude and didn’t even say hi. Instead, he texted her from across the room to tell her that he was also there and that they shouldn’t make things “awkward.”
· One night she was going to go on a date with someone she met on match.com “a while ago.” She cancelled dinner plans to celebrate her birthday with some of her girlfriends so that she could go meet him. Surprise, Surprise, he was a no show, no call, no text. Completely stood-up. While the rest of the world would just leave it there and take a hint, she decided to call him up the next day and berate him about his behavior.
· Her Dad forgot her birthday completely. Days after the big day, she called him to make sure he was ok. He never mentioned her birthday, or the expensive Christmas gift she sent.
· She is “talking” to other ex-boyfriend on the regular. She still “loves him” and is trying her best to get back with him. From her recounting of their conversations, he is sending her pretty strong “not in this lifetime” and “I pity you” signals.
· She is still looking for a new car. I’m certain she has been to every car dealer in a 100 mile radius. There are always problems with 1) the car, 2) the dealer, or 3) both. I’m beginning to think that she is blacklisted for her nonsensical behavior because “even if I call in advance, no one will help me.” I pity the salesmen that are dealing with her. She has even begun to have salesman take iPhone pictures of her posture in the car (because she has to have perfect alignment) and even taking a test drive from one dealership to another (with the salesman in tow). She is still planning to write an exposé on how awful it is to buy a car in the area.
· She is getting sick right before her 2 week trip over the holidays. She has spent the past several days out in the cold and rain car shopping. It will probably be pneumonia and she will be miserable the entire time. I see a trip the ER in her near future.
Wow…just wow. Each of those little bullet points is a much longer story, but that’s all I have for now! I will keep my list going and next time I will update you on Ms. TMI.
Cheers and Happy Holidays!
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