Shart Week

Well, it seems to be all over the news; Al Roker sharted at the White House.  Talk about the over share of the century.  If you know me, you will know my feelings about Al Roker (i.e.  He should be fired from the Today Show and never ever be on TV again).   I can sympathize with an irritable digestive system, however, did the entire world really need to know (and be continually reminded) of your accidental explosion?  Did we need to know that you went commando post incident!?  In case you have yet to see his “juicy” confession, here it is:

This reminds me of an incident a few weeks ago with Ms. TMI.  We were discussing the high-fat, high-sugar, high-calorie foods that are abundant during the holidays.  She leans over and says, “I have to tell you something embarrassing.”  I know this is going to be an over share, but I can’t stop myself from letting her share away (plus my readers demand it!).  So, without further ado, here it is:

Ms. TMI:  So, you know Mr. STBBD is a redneck, right?  Well, turns out he is hates bodily functions.  Even if I burp in front of him he is grossed out.  I have never even really farted in front of him, until last week.

Me:  (giggle) How is that possible?  You have been living together for a while now?

Ms. TMI:  I know! (hushed voice) Have you ever heard of a shart?

Me:  What?!  Did you just ask me if I know what a shart is?!  Yes, sadly, I am aware.

Ms. TMI:  Well, last week I was teleworking and Mr. STBBD was also home.  I was at the dining room table working away and he was in the living room watching TV.  It’s an open floor plan so there is no division between the rooms.  Anyway, I totally forgot that he was there and farted…..except it turned out to be a shart!  Mr. STBBD shot up from the couch, turned around and just stared at me in disbelief.  I was so embarrassed.

Me:  Are you telling me that the first time you farted in front of your boyfriend it was a shart?!

Ms. TMI:  YES!!!  He was horrified.  I don’t think he will ever look at me the same again.

I DIE!  I will admit that I as she was telling me this story I had tears from laughing so hard.  For those of you that may not be familiar with this term, let me go ahead and share with you my favorite Urban Dictionary definition. 

                (shärt). 1. (v.) when you fart & end up with more then you bargained for

I don't really know how to top that, so I guess I will stop here.

Until next time,  Cheers!