Hello
friends! I hope you all had a fantastic
weekend. For today’s blog, I’m going to
try a new format. I’m anticipating that
today will full of tales from Ms. TMI and her ongoing relationship issues, as
well as an update from Ms. Wim since her cross-country boyfriend (?) was
supposed to arrive yesterday. As things
occur throughout the day I will record them and then post at the end of the
day. Let’s hope this works.
9:20AM:
Ms. Wim
came into my office with the looks of the weight of the world on her shoulders. Deeps sighs and puppy dog eyes to top it off.
She was
sick all last week but in constant communication with the potential
long-distance boyfriend about the upcoming visit. He sent her 2 dozen roses the middle of last
week and daily texts counting down the time until their reunion. Her aunt made arrangements to stay at a hotel
downtown so as to not inconvenience her, close to where the potential boyfriend had made plans for all of them on Wednesday.
This dude was concerned about Ms. Wim being contagious (she is ALWAYS
sick), so she went to the doctor and got antibiotics, which she would normally
not do. She was looking forward to the
week with the new man and hoping it would help her get over the ex. There was a full week of events planned for the occasion: shopping, dinner, shows, dancing, hiking, etc etc etc That is, until about 5:30 Friday night, when Mr.
Long-Distance called to cancel the trip completely. Not just postpone it, cancel it forever.
According
to Ms. Wim, he said that he had been thinking about the situation for months
now and just couldn’t go on anymore. He
was admittedly falling for her, but it was becoming distracting and he hadn’t
been spending time establishing himself in his new city. He thought it was better to just end it
there. This conversation, of course,
left quite the wake of trauma. To make
a long story short, he cut off all communication and hasn’t responded to any of
her communication attempts since then.
She even went to far as to leave him a belligerent voicemail giving him
a piece of her mind at 3am Saturday morning. Classy! She also sent him an email outlining all of the plans she had for the 2
of them this week, including how much each cost, and asked him
to repay her the money she had already spent. She took the 2 dozen roses, changed the
water, and left them on her neighbor’s door with a note that said “I will be out
of town for the weekend and don’t want these to go to waste. Enjoy!” because she couldn’t stand the sight
of them. Also, she deleted him from Facebook. Why does this all sound so damn
familiar? In the meantime, she told her
Aunt about the cancellation, and the Aunt is pissed at Ms. Wim since she
rearranged her accommodations for this dude. The
aunt also uninvited Ms. Wim to a dinner over the whole ordeal. Going to be a long week.
In an
attempt to get out of the dumps, she made plans to go see The Great Gatsby in
the theater in full costume of period clothing (remember she collects vintage
clothing). Anyway, she arrived first
about 20min before the show and was the only one dressed up. Her friend texted to tell her she was on her
way, but she lives 30mins from the theater.
So, there she is, all dressed up and the whole theater’s staring at her
in full 20’s regalia. The friend showed up after the preview and just as the movie was starting.
After
the movie they went to Barnes and Noble to get Starbucks and chat. As the café was closing, the barista came
over to alert them that it was time to go.
She commented on their outfits and somehow stuck up a conversation. Yesterday was mother’s day and the barista said
to them “Happy Mother’s Day, even though you are too young to have kids.” Well, that struck a chord with Ms. Wim
because she quickly retorted that her “eggs are all dried up.” This lead to what I’m sure was an even more
awkward conversation than the one I’m having and Ms. Wim shared her man-struggles
with the nice stranger. She even went so
far as to ask the barista if she knew any nice and available men. The barista then shared her own tale of
woe. According the Ms. Wim, the barista
said that she looked for love for a long time and finally realized that she was
in love with her guy friend of 10years. They
decided to get married, but he died 2 weeks before their wedding. Oh Dear God.
Ms. Wim is probably the most miserable I’ve seen her in a while and this
story from the random barista was the icing on the cake. She even went to far as to say, "I'm unlovable." Sad.
9:54AM:
Ms. Wim
decided it was time to work and left my office.
10:08AM:
Ms. TMI
arrived and came directly to my office. She had to give me her weekend update even before turning on her computer.
Mother’s
Day was full of activities. First, they
went to the cemetery to put flowers on her grandmother’s grave. At the gates to the cemetery there was a
funeral home that was holding a promotional raffle. You could enter to win the grand prize of a
flat screen TV if you signed up for their email promotions. Talk about an odd promotion! She then told me about the buttermilk
chocolate cupcakes she made and the dinner she put together for her
family. They had chicken, red potatoes,
spinach salad, asparagus, and orange cookies.
Ms. TMI continued to tell me about the pending family drama over the estate of her recently deceased grandparents, but
she will be in charge of keeping the peace.
In fact, her quick math skills already averted one crisis. She continued to describe the state of the estate,
including the family home which is currently occupied by her mentally ill and unemployable
uncle. I guess he is a hoarder and in no
hurry to go anywhere. The other family
members, on the other hand, want to sell the house ASAP. She gave me full description of the contents
of the house, including the empty boxes of “as seen on TV” merchandise her
grandfather liked to purchase. She said
there is a lot more she has to discuss with me, but she has to go check her
email first.
10:43AM:
Ms. TMI went to her office, grabbed a present for
an office friend and disappeared down the hall.
11:28AM:
Ms. TMI
is in my office showing people Mary Kay samples. My office has better light, so clearly it’s
the best place to do this. She is also telling me all about how I should
do my makeup and which lipstick I should wear for which occasion. Super annoying, but I got free samples, which
are always fun. So, I’ll call it a wash.
1:47PM:
I was
summoned to Ms. TMI’s office for the update on Mr. STBBD. They have been in a vicious cycle of fighting
for days now and Friday was no exception.
I don’t even really understand how this version of the fight started,
but it escalated quickly. At one point
Mr. STBBD was so pissed he launched his phone like a throwing star and it stuck
straight into the dry wall. They
separated briefly, but you know that this won’t end here.
From
what I gathered, she continued to tell him how he is a miserable son-of-a-bitch and
lives his life with a chip on his shoulder.
The usual insults were thrown and Mr. STBBD finally looked Ms. TMI square in
the eyes and said “we are done!” She said
she responded “ok” made some final snarky remark as she stomped up the stairs. He apparently heard her and responded with “you’re
just a fat, nasty, bitch.” YIKES!! I think even he knew that was below the belt,
even for their colorful fights. She took
off running and tried to lock herself in her home office, but he moved faster
and she wasn’t able to close the door in time.
She made a second attempt at skirting him, all the while screaming that
he leave her alone. She stepped past him
and made her way to the bathroom for peace and quiet. He got his foot in the door just as she was
about to close it and he refused to leave her in peace. In a final attempt to avoid punching him out
and having a complete mental breakdown, she climbed into the tub and pulled the
curtain, shaking and crying over what was going on. He sat
on the toilet and continued to talk to her through the curtain and apologized profusely. He somehow convinced her to get out of the
tub, but they remained in tiny bathroom.
(Ms. TMI went on an interlude to tell me the story of how she is
comfortable in the bathroom, probably because that is where she would escape to
when her parents fought when she was little).
Ms. TMI
was still not speaking to Mr. STBBD and had no interest in the same apology
she has heard a 1000 times. That is
until he said the exact right thing at the exact right time to bring the
situation to an end….. “let’s pray together.”
Yes, my readers, he suggested they pray together to make everything
alright again. He got down onto the bathroom
floor with her, took her hand, and said, “let’s pray.” I don't think he is a religious man, but Ms. TMI is devout. He didn’t do any praying himself, but gave her the idea and she led
the way. And that was it. Fight over,
end of story, fin. That night they went to a hockey game together
and pretended like nothing ever happened, even though there is a hole in her
wall where they extracted the cell phone.
I highly doubt this will be the end. But, we will wait and see.
2:18PM:
I
was allowed to escape back to my office.
Well
everyone. I don’t know about you, but I’m
exhausted, and I actually have work to do.
In fact, I’ll be working a light speed for these 2 time sucks. Until next time.
Cheers!
