Now For Something Completely Different

Hello friends!  I hope you all had a fantastic weekend.  For today’s blog, I’m going to try a new format.  I’m anticipating that today will full of tales from Ms. TMI and her ongoing relationship issues, as well as an update from Ms. Wim since her cross-country boyfriend (?) was supposed to arrive yesterday.  As things occur throughout the day I will record them and then post at the end of the day.  Let’s hope this works.

9:20AM: 

Ms. Wim came into my office with the looks of the weight of the world on her shoulders.  Deeps sighs and puppy dog eyes to top it off.  

She was sick all last week but in constant communication with the potential long-distance boyfriend about the upcoming visit.  He sent her 2 dozen roses the middle of last week and daily texts counting down the time until their reunion.  Her aunt made arrangements to stay at a hotel downtown so as to not inconvenience her, close to where the potential boyfriend had made plans for all of them on Wednesday.  This dude was concerned about Ms. Wim being contagious (she is ALWAYS sick), so she went to the doctor and got antibiotics, which she would normally not do.  She was looking forward to the week with the new man and hoping it would help her get over the ex.  There was a full week of events planned for the occasion:  shopping, dinner, shows, dancing, hiking, etc etc etc    That is, until about 5:30 Friday night, when Mr. Long-Distance called to cancel the trip completely.  Not just postpone it, cancel it forever.  

According to Ms. Wim, he said that he had been thinking about the situation for months now and just couldn’t go on anymore.  He was admittedly falling for her, but it was becoming distracting and he hadn’t been spending time establishing himself in his new city.  He thought it was better to just end it there.  This conversation, of course, left quite the wake of trauma.    To make a long story short, he cut off all communication and hasn’t responded to any of her communication attempts since then.  She even went to far as to leave him a belligerent voicemail giving him a piece of her mind at 3am Saturday morning.  Classy! She also sent him an email outlining all of the plans she had for the 2 of them this week, including how much each cost, and asked him to repay her the money she had already spent.  She took the 2 dozen roses, changed the water, and left them on her neighbor’s door with a note that said “I will be out of town for the weekend and don’t want these to go to waste.  Enjoy!” because she couldn’t stand the sight of them.  Also, she deleted him from Facebook.  Why does this all sound so damn familiar?  In the meantime, she told her Aunt about the cancellation, and the Aunt is pissed at Ms. Wim since she rearranged her accommodations for this dude.  The aunt also uninvited Ms. Wim to a dinner over the whole ordeal.  Going to be a long week.  

 

In an attempt to get out of the dumps, she made plans to go see The Great Gatsby in the theater in full costume of period clothing (remember she collects vintage clothing).  Anyway, she arrived first about 20min before the show and was the only one dressed up.  Her friend texted to tell her she was on her way, but she lives 30mins from the theater.  So, there she is, all dressed up and the whole theater’s staring at her in full 20’s regalia.  The friend showed up after the preview and just as the movie was starting.

After the movie they went to Barnes and Noble to get Starbucks and chat.  As the café was closing, the barista came over to alert them that it was time to go.  She commented on their outfits and somehow stuck up a conversation.  Yesterday was mother’s day and the barista said to them “Happy Mother’s Day, even though you are too young to have kids.”  Well, that struck a chord with Ms. Wim because she quickly retorted that her “eggs are all dried up.”  This lead to what I’m sure was an even more awkward conversation than the one I’m having and Ms. Wim shared her man-struggles with the nice stranger.  She even went so far as to ask the barista if she knew any nice and available men.  The barista then shared her own tale of woe.  According the Ms. Wim, the barista said that she looked for love for a long time and finally realized that she was in love with her guy friend of 10years.  They decided to get married, but he died 2 weeks before their wedding.  Oh Dear God.  Ms. Wim is probably the most miserable I’ve seen her in a while and this story from the random barista was the icing on the cake.  She even went to far as to say, "I'm unlovable."  Sad.

9:54AM:

Ms. Wim decided it was time to work and left my office. 

10:08AM:

Ms. TMI arrived and came directly to my office.  She had to give me her weekend update even before turning on her computer.

Mother’s Day was full of activities.  First, they went to the cemetery to put flowers on her grandmother’s grave.  At the gates to the cemetery there was a funeral home that was holding a promotional raffle.  You could enter to win the grand prize of a flat screen TV if you signed up for their email promotions.  Talk about an odd promotion!  She then told me about the buttermilk chocolate cupcakes she made and the dinner she put together for her family.  They had chicken, red potatoes, spinach salad, asparagus, and orange cookies.  

Ms. TMI continued to tell me about the pending family drama over the estate of her recently deceased grandparents, but she will be in charge of keeping the peace.  In fact, her quick math skills already averted one crisis.  She continued to describe the state of the estate, including the family home which is currently occupied by her mentally ill and unemployable uncle.  I guess he is a hoarder and in no hurry to go anywhere.  The other family members, on the other hand, want to sell the house ASAP.  She gave me full description of the contents of the house, including the empty boxes of “as seen on TV” merchandise her grandfather liked to purchase.  She said there is a lot more she has to discuss with me, but she has to go check her email first.  

10:43AM:

Ms. TMI  went to her office, grabbed a present for an office friend and disappeared down the hall.  

11:28AM:

Ms. TMI is in my office showing people Mary Kay samples.  My office has better light, so clearly it’s the best place to do this.   She is also telling me all about how I should do my makeup and which lipstick I should wear for which occasion.  Super annoying, but I got free samples, which are always fun.  So, I’ll call it a wash.

1:47PM: 

I was summoned to Ms. TMI’s office for the update on Mr. STBBD.  They have been in a vicious cycle of fighting for days now and Friday was no exception.  I don’t even really understand how this version of the fight started, but it escalated quickly.  At one point Mr. STBBD was so pissed he launched his phone like a throwing star and it stuck straight into the dry wall.  They separated briefly, but you know that this won’t end here.  

From what I gathered, she continued to tell him how he is a miserable son-of-a-bitch and lives his life with a chip on his shoulder.  The usual insults were thrown and Mr. STBBD finally looked Ms. TMI square in the eyes and said “we are done!”   She said she responded “ok” made some final snarky remark as she stomped up the stairs.  He apparently heard her and responded with “you’re just a fat, nasty, bitch.”  YIKES!!  I think even he knew that was below the belt, even for their colorful fights.  She took off running and tried to lock herself in her home office, but he moved faster and she wasn’t able to close the door in time.  She made a second attempt at skirting him, all the while screaming that he leave her alone.  She stepped past him and made her way to the bathroom for peace and quiet.  He got his foot in the door just as she was about to close it and he refused to leave her in peace.  In a final attempt to avoid punching him out and having a complete mental breakdown, she climbed into the tub and pulled the curtain, shaking and crying over what was going on.    He sat on the toilet and continued to talk to her through the curtain and apologized profusely.  He somehow convinced her to get out of the tub, but they remained in tiny bathroom.  (Ms. TMI went on an interlude to tell me the story of how she is comfortable in the bathroom, probably because that is where she would escape to when her parents fought when she was little).   

Ms. TMI was still not speaking to Mr. STBBD and had no interest in the same apology she has heard a 1000 times.  That is until he said the exact right thing at the exact right time to bring the situation to an end….. “let’s pray together.”  Yes, my readers, he suggested they pray together to make everything alright again.  He got down onto the bathroom floor with her, took her hand, and said, “let’s pray.”  I don't think he is a religious man, but Ms. TMI is devout.  He didn’t do any praying himself, but gave her the idea and she led the way.  And that was it. Fight over, end of story, fin.   That night they went to a hockey game together and pretended like nothing ever happened, even though there is a hole in her wall where they extracted the cell phone.   I highly doubt this will be the end.  But, we will wait and see.

2:18PM: 

I was allowed to escape back to my office.

Well everyone.  I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted, and I actually have work to do.  In fact, I’ll be working a light speed for these 2 time sucks.  Until next time.

Cheers!